We should be called the Road Head Warriors
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
