I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I cut my penus on the lid.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
