the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
