I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
