I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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