It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
