I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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