i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
she peed on how many people?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
