4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I think I sprained my soul last night
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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