I want to make a zoo with you.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
