Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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