we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
