I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
