no, he came in my armpit
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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