im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
