your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
