It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
