matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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