It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Randomize
