I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
