haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Randomize
