just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
