Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
