This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
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