so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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