doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
