i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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