Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
