just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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