I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
