Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
