ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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