VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
