This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
