i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
