: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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