That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
