Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
