god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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