So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
