I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
3 2 1 whiskey
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
