What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
