So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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