In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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