did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Randomize
