Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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