You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Just cropdusted the office
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
