You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
