just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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