Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I had to cum in my sink.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
