A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
