she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I'm sobbing to NWA
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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