saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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