that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
