Non-Jews are for practice
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
She's just so happy...and so naked.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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