Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
