Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
