Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
