I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
