when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Of course I have a pirate flag
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Randomize
