it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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