i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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