Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
