Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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