:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
