I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
