I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
