i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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