It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
The adults are the big ones right?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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