Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize
