Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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