Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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