i just google imaged poop.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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