u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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