it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
