Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
