i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize