You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
