I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
