All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
