i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
