Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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